We spend a lot of time talking about how much money we want to leave our children.
We talk about investment accounts, retirement plans, real estate, life insurance, trusts and wills. We make sure beneficiary designations are updated and that the estate plan is in place.
But there’s another question that I think deserves just as much attention:
Are your kids actually prepared to receive the money?
That may sound like a strange question. After all, if you've done the work to accumulate wealth and have a plan in place to pass it on, isn't that enough?
I don't think it is.
The Great Wealth Transfer is already underway, and over the coming decades, an enormous amount of wealth is expected to move from one generation to the next. But successful wealth transfer isn't simply about getting the assets from Point A to Point B.
It's about preparing the people at Point B.
Having an estate plan doesn't necessarily mean your family is prepared
One of the biggest misconceptions I see with legacy planning is that having a will or trust means the family is ready.
Those documents are incredibly important. But they're only part of the equation.
A recent 2026 Wells Fargo study found a significant disconnect between parents and their adult children when it comes to inheritance. While 93% of parents surveyed said they knew how much wealth they expected to transfer, only 54% of their adult children said they knew how much they were likely to inherit.
Even more concerning, 22% of adult children didn't know whether they had been named as an executor or trustee, and another 22% didn't know whether they had been given power of attorney responsibilities.
In other words, the parents may have a plan.
The kids just may not know what it is.
And that's where problems can start.
The conversation most families avoid
Talking about money with your children can be uncomfortable.
Parents may worry that telling their children how much money they have will create entitlement. They may worry that their kids will stop working as hard. They may not want their children making financial decisions based on an inheritance that could be years or decades away.
Those are legitimate concerns.
And adult children have their own concerns.
They may not want to appear greedy by asking questions about an inheritance. They may feel uncomfortable bringing up their parents' finances. They may assume that because Mom and Dad have an estate plan, everything is already taken care of.
The result?
Nobody talks about it.
The 2026 Wells Fargo study found that 82% of adult children believe inheritance discussions would help them prepare for the future, yet many families still avoid having those conversations. Nearly half of adult children surveyed said they worry that talking about inheritance could create family conflict.
That's a problem because silence doesn't create preparedness.
Communication does.
Your kids don't necessarily need to know every number
I don't believe every family needs to sit down at the kitchen table and hand the kids a spreadsheet showing every account, investment and dollar of net worth.
There isn't one right way to have this conversation.
But your children should probably have a general understanding of:
What your wishes are
Where important documents are located
Who your attorney and financial advisor are
Who is responsible for making financial decisions if you're unable to
Who is responsible for settling the estate
How your assets are generally structured
What you hope the money will accomplish
Any important family values or intentions behind the inheritance
The goal isn't necessarily to give your children a detailed financial statement.
The goal is to eliminate surprises.
An inheritance can be life-changing. That doesn't mean it's easy.
Receiving a significant inheritance sounds like a good problem to have.
And it certainly can be.
But suddenly receiving a large amount of money can also create difficult decisions.
Should you invest it?
Pay off the mortgage?
Buy a house?
Start a business?
Give money to your own children?
Keep working?
Retire early?
And perhaps the biggest question:
How do you make sure the money lasts?
Someone who has spent 30 years learning how to earn, save and invest money has developed financial habits along the way.
An heir may suddenly receive the result of all those years of work without having gone through the process that created the wealth.
That's why preparing the next generation is so important.
Don't just leave your kids money. Leave them a framework.
One of the best things you can give your children isn't another investment account.
It's context.
Explain why you made the financial decisions you made.
Explain what money means to your family.
Explain what you hope your wealth accomplishes.
Maybe your goal is to help your children buy their first home.
Maybe it's to fund education for grandchildren.
Maybe you want the money invested for future generations.
Maybe you want your children to use some of it for charitable giving.
Maybe your biggest goal is simply to give your family financial security.
Whatever the goal is, your children can't carry out an intention they don't understand.
And this is where estate planning and financial planning need to work together.
Consider bringing your children into the conversation
One of the things I encourage families to consider is involving the next generation before the wealth actually changes hands.
That doesn't necessarily mean turning over control of the family's finances.
It can be as simple as having a conversation with your financial advisor together.
Talk through the overall plan.
Explain what accounts exist and why.
Discuss the estate plan at a high level.
Let your children ask questions.
This can accomplish something that a legal document can't: it gives your children an opportunity to understand the thinking behind the plan while you're still here to explain it.
And there's evidence that families are looking for exactly this type of guidance. In the 2026 Wells Fargo study, 84% of adult children said speaking with their parents' financial advisor would help them feel more prepared, while 83% said they would feel more confident if that advisor continued working with them after their parents were gone.
That's a pretty powerful finding.
It suggests that the next generation doesn't just want the assets.
They want to understand how to handle them.
Think beyond the inheritance
There's another part of legacy planning that I think sometimes gets overlooked.
Your legacy isn't just the money you leave behind.
It's also the lessons you leave behind.
How did you teach your children to think about money?
Did they learn the importance of saving?
Did they understand investing?
Did you talk about charitable giving?
Did they see you make thoughtful financial decisions?
Did they understand that wealth is a tool rather than the ultimate goal?
Interestingly, both parents and adult children in the Wells Fargo study agreed that values are more important than money when it comes to what gets passed from one generation to the next.
That's an important distinction.
Money can be inherited. Financial wisdom has to be taught.
A better way to think about legacy planning
When I work with families on legacy planning, I think it's helpful to look at three separate questions:
1. What are you leaving?
This is the traditional estate-planning question: How much wealth will transfer, and to whom?
2. How will it transfer?
This involves the legal and financial structure—wills, trusts, beneficiary designations, account titling, tax planning and other estate-planning strategies.
3. Who is receiving it, and are they prepared?
This is the question that often gets overlooked.
Does your child understand investing?
Do they know how to manage a large portfolio?
Do they understand the tax implications of an inherited IRA?
Do they know who to call when they have questions?
Do they understand your wishes?
Are they prepared emotionally as well as financially?
That's where a comprehensive wealth-transfer plan can make a meaningful difference.
The goal isn't simply to transfer wealth. It's to transfer it successfully.
If you've spent decades building wealth, you probably want more than just the assets to make it to the next generation.
You want your family to benefit from them.
You want your children to have opportunities.
You want the wealth to provide security rather than conflict.
And you probably don't want your children sitting around after you're gone trying to figure out what you would have wanted.
That's why I believe a good legacy plan should include more than an estate plan.
It should include a conversation.
Because the most successful wealth transfer isn't necessarily the one that moves the most money.
It's the one that gives the next generation the knowledge, confidence and context to use that money well.
If you've spent years building wealth, the next step isn't just deciding what happens to it when you're gone.
It's making sure the people you're leaving it to are ready for what comes next.